Skull smash - A family game!

Good morning all!

Did I ever tell you about the game that Kate and I invented when she was about 3 years old? I didn't??? Well, let's fix that motherfucker right now!

It must have been a slow day, and Kate was bored, so we decided to read a book together. Half way through I could see that she was losing interest so to make her laugh I closed the book and whacked myself square in the forehead to make her smile, and it worked! She was cackling away and saying 'silly daddy' when a fleeting idea popped into my walnut sized brain......

'What if I let her run across the room with the book and smack me in the head with it?' I thought.

I give you the conception of skull smash, a fun game for ALL of the family!


The book stung a little as it bounced off of my noggin but I survived level 1. Onto level 2, a thermometer from her nurse playset, again very little reaction from me, but she was laughing like a lunatic, and I should have bailed out at this point, but I'm not that smart.

She wandered over to her toy box, and after rummaging for a while she held aloft a plastic rake as if it were excalibur!

She walked across the room and I assumed the brace position. As she set off like Usain Bolt on a cocktail of performance enhancing drugs I couldn't wait to hear her laugh again, it is simply the best sound ever hearing a child laugh.

She started whooping like a native American and raised the rake above her head like it were a razor sharp Tomahawk, I awaited the impact with no fear....... 

Then there was a blinding flash of white light and a calmness utterly unexpected from this type of game.

The calmness I later found out, is because I was sparked out, laid face down on the carpet, and all I remember was that dirty ca..... oh wait, that was the Amber Heard testimony (our carpet is clean)

As I came to I recall seeing an astounded Kelly stood over me and probably moaning. The issue was that no sound was coming out, I was deaf! Thankfully the silence was soon replaced by a loud buzzing and eventually I could hear her.

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' A question I have since asked myself on numerous occasions.

Well a trip to A&E, a CT scan and a lot of incredulous looks would show a concussion of epic proportion and a bruised ego.

The corridors of Addenbrookes hospital still contain the disbelieving laughter of Dr's and nurses that couldn't believe a 6'4" and 420lb man could be KO'd by a sweet little child with dimples.

I approached all of the major game designers, but none of them were keen on buying the rights to skull smash, very sad.......

Much love x

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hi, I'm Dave x

Image
 Hi! I'm Dave, it's really nice to meet you :)  For those of you that don't know me I'll kick off with a brief introduction of who I am. I'm a 42 year old balding obese diabetic from the UK (Ladies please form an orderly queue) and mentally I am broken. Some people like to guard their mental health struggles, but I am the opposite, I want to shout it from the rooftops! In fact let's kick this off with a bold and controversial statement.... I. AM. MENTAL. I get that some people might find that statement offensive, but it's true for ME so back off ;) Now, let's go back to where it all began shall we? I was brought up in a reasonably strict/traditional home, I was loved even though rarely did I hear that word, but I was born in that gap between the 'suck it up' and the 'express your feelings' generations so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. As a kid, especially back in the 80's I had no concept of what m...
Read more

Mental health and the importance of talking...

We all have demons in our lives. Addiction, self harming, uncontrolled aggression and many more besides. They make parts of our lives hell on earth and have the ability to reduce the strongest people to a mere shadow of their former self. I know many people that go and see a counsellor, myself included, in the hope of exorcising these malevolent entities from our heads, because they have no right to invade a happy and healthy mind, spreading poisonous tendrils, probing into our most precious and happiest of memories. Last Thursday I went to my counselling session and I got asked a few standard safeguarding questions relating to my safety. The question that caused me to fear for my safety, and stop my therapist from forming words for a moment was pretty straightforward. "Dave, on a scale of 1 to 10 how likely is it that you will attempt to self harm or end your life?" I sat back in my chair and put my hands on my face, I hesitated for a few seconds and asked myself what the po...
Read more

Hi, I'm Dave, and I want(ed?) to die.

Image
I'll start off by giving a **TRIGGER WARNING** I'm going to be talking about the darkest corners of my mind, which inevitibly includes honesty about suicidal thoughts. Hi! I'm Dave, and for the last few weeks I have been utterly convinced that I want to die. Sounds kind of nonchalant, flippant if you will, but it's true. It's hard to put into words how you feel when the most malevolent thoughts creep into your mind, you almost don't notice as the tendrils of depression slowly creep inside your head and slowly chokes what little positivity you have into submission. I suffer HUGELY with paranoia, I believe people talk, plot and scheme against me while my back is turned, I feel like the world is out to get me, and when you combine that with a feeling of worthlessness that depression brings to the table your own head can be the single worst place to be, which sucks because your mind should be a happy place that drives your hopes and dreams, that gives yo...
Read more